God's plan

Sorry for not updating lately but I've been pretty down and worried. I found out last Wednesday that I will be losing my job. They are closing our office after 17 years with the company. To say I had a panic attack is a understatement. I've never felt like that people and it really scared me. I've always had trouble with anxiety so hearing those words caused a complete breakdown for me. Where will I go making what I make an hour? Losing 6 weeks vacation. What will we do for health insurance? The fear of having to interview after 17 years with one company. Having to give up friendships and make new friends. Knowing I will never find a job with such a flexible and caring boss.
I took the next day off work and laid in bed and felt sorry for myself all day long. I've never laid in my pajamas all day before. My kids were worried about me, but I just needed some time to grieve and feel sorry for myself.
Friday I went back to work and talked with my boss. She states that it will be a long process to transfer our work over to the other sites that will be taking our jobs. She is hopeful that it will be 12 to 18 months before we are jobless.
I'm sure a lot of people don't agree with my plan, but I've come to terms with it and don't want to try to be talked into doing something different. I'm going to wait it out, hopefully it takes the full 12-18 months, then I will get a severance package that will pay 7 months of my salary and I can draw unemployment. Scott will be adding us to his insurance. This gives us time to pay off bills and YES start our adoption paper work. We are going through with the adoption of Leah Grace, we feel God has a plan for our family. This will allow me to be home with her for several months and be paid while doing it. Then I will start looking for jobs, hopefully I will find one closer to home.
We have had to listen to many people say I should start looking now, and I appreciate everyone caring about us, but we feel this is what we should do and that's our plan for the time being.
I'm trying to leave my anxiety behind and know that God has a plan for our family.
I'm going to add some of our family pictures we had made on June 29th. Thanks Melissa they turned out great. I look at my family and know it's all going to be OK.